My eldest daughter Sophie is smart, silly, sweet and highly sensitive. What do I mean? She falls into the minority of the population whose nervous system is “highly sensitive”. Now, I’m just repeating myself..let me explain. Her nervous system ‘over’ processes EVERYTHING around her. She picks up on small details others pass by; the sound of a car speeding by at the park is loud and obtrusive, the texture of a new food in her mouth is all consuming, the smell of a chemical fabric softener irritates her nose, smiling at a stranger is putting too much pressure on her…are you starting to get the picture? No? Here’s the more general explanation: her senses are CONSTANTLY on overdrive, her brain processes every little thing, stuff which most of us can block out. Her entire system is easy to overwhelm.

Does she have Autism? No. Sensory processing disorder- maybe, to some people. But to me, her mother who is a pediatric chiropractor that specializes in observing the display of hundreds of children’s nervous systems, I’ve come to recognize that her nervous system is simply just designed to TAKE IN MORE. When looked at like that, it doesn’t sound so bad right?

Recently, I’ve been reading the book The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. and what a great read! I feel like it confirmed everything I intuitively knew about my daughter. The book seems to go hand-in-hand with a lot of my educational background as well, which is making me not only a better mother but a better holistic doctor. It also prompted me to write this blog for you parents that suspect your child also has a highly sensitive nervous system.

So let’s talk about Sophie and see if you recognize any similarities. From a very early age, I realized a strict routine was best for her. Limited social interaction for her when she was a baby was best (great by me, I’m an introvert). She’s always needed prime sleeping conditions to get a good night’s sleep- sound machine, blackout curtains, soft cotton nighties, special blanket (this FINALLY replaced the pacifier right before her third birthday). All of her clothes are cotton, tags cut out, and washed in unscented detergent.

Her early toddler time was DIFFICULT until I realized I needed to do a seriously good job prepping her for transitions- we use lots of count down timers. We have had to be incredibly careful with who we let step into the role of caregiver, she needs someone she feels very safe with or she feels betrayed and starts to shut down. At three and a half, she loves playing with friends but it’s take about half of her life with me constantly intervening and holding her hand around other kids (now, she does tell me to “leave her alone please” so she can play by herself- huge win!!). And she still is known as an ‘observer’- she’ll watch from a far for awhile before joining in a game.

We travel A LOT, which I do think is great for her development, but we know we have to give her a heads up before a trip, take her favorite comfort toys and snacks, and talk very positively about the experience beforehand. She loves to travel but we make sure she has plenty of extra time for napping/sleep after long days exploring new places.

So this is Sophie. She is sensitive but it doesn’t even phase us, her family, anymore. In fact, we get to experience the world in more detail and with more feeling- it’s incredible!

There is so much I wish I could tell ALL PARENTS OF SENSITIVE KIDDOS but the TOP TWO are the following:

1. There is nothing wrong or broken with your child who has a highly sensitive nervous system. Just because he or she might process things differently/more deeply than you do, it doesn’t mean he or she is wrong/broken/ill. [That goes for you too-if you are an adult with a sensitive system (and if this is you, please don’t over-shelter your child, their nervous system still needs experiences to thrive)].  If you are at a lost how to raise a child with a highly sensitive nervous system, seek help. Again, see the book above- game changer! And as always, if you are concerned that your child might actually have a medical condition that goes beyond a sensitive nervous system-seek professional help.
2. Stop feeding your child processed sugar!!! Just stop. Honestly this should be true for ALL kids, but especially those with sensitive nervous systems. Sugar is a terrible way of internally messing with a sensitive gut and a kid’s neurotransmitters (feel good chemicals in the body, which are already easily disrupted in a sensitive child). There are literally thousands of research articles available on how sugar negatively effects one’s body- now just double or triple that for a little sensitive body. Increased inflammation, decreased focus, decreased immune function, poor sleep, increased anxiety/depression and so much more, just to name a few of the health concerns due to consuming too much sugar. Of course there will need to be exceptions for special occasions, but maybe rethink your candy reward system, or desert after every meal. Look into foods sweetened more naturally, like with honey or dates. It’ll be worth it!

The last little bit of Sophie’s life I want to mention is what we call “crazy exercise time”. After dinner, and before our bedtime wind-down routine, we, as a family, run around like, well, crazy. It’ s a blast, there is laughing and occasionally tears from crashing/falling etc but it also serves a higher purpose: it is a way for Sophie’s incredible system to release any leftover or built-up cortisol (think stress chemical). It is common for this to build up in highly sensitive systems and can cause disruption to normal development/health. For our family, it’s done away with her 3-4 times a week night terrors!

Well, on that note, it’s about time for me to put down the computer and return to mothering. I can’t wait to see what I learn from my sweet Sophie today.